A couple of months ago I was involved with the filming of the Leicester Young People for Life DVD that has just been launched in the diocese. I've just watched it for the first time, and although am pleased with the parts they have picked out and highlighted etc, I wonder if I sound a little "evangelical", and that makes me feel quite uncomfortable. As someone who is deeply passionate about my faith, I wonder if this is something I should raise questions about. However I am unsure I want to raise those questions...
I've been questioning what the word "evangilism" actually means and so looked in the dictionary:
'Zealous preaching and dissemination of the gospel, as through missionary work'
Why is it that a lot of the Christians I know choose 'zelous preaching' and choose not to 'disseminate the gospel' in other ways? The thought of people preaching the gospel to me through words even as a Christian, fills me with immense fear. It probably shouldn't but it does. It makes me feel greatly uncomfortable, and is something I lack the ability to do completley. As someone involved in Youth Ministry I often question if I should be more effective at 'evangalising' and talking the talk. But actually I have no inclination or desire to. I love talking about my faith and thology, but I think that's entirely different than preaching about it to people that dont necessarily want to hear about it.
To me it is much more important to 'disseminate the gospel' through being Christ-like, through loving other people and being accountable. I like that, and that is where my passion lies. And yet I have to question the way I have done this recently. I have been in a process of loving life and learning to love myself, but in that process have forgotton the importance of the most important thing in my life... I'm struggling to work things through and am desperate to be accountable, and evangalise in the way I feel God is calling me, but at the moment I just feel as if I fail every time, and get knocked down at the first hurdle. Something I have done so freqently in life of late is forgetting God, and also forgetting to pray. I guess this is something I ought to focus on, and not beat myself up when I mess up.
God loves, God accepts, and God forgives. He's done this time and time again for me, and I hope that that is something I can do towards other people. I have a huge passion for my faith and it is something very deep and personal to me, yet I do so desperatly want other to see that passion within me. I just don't want to have to share it via words. I want to show Christ, by loving, accepting and forgiving. That's what's crucial to me...
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2 comments:
I've just come across from Rethinking Church. I understand something of what you are saying about preaching the gospel through words filling you with fear. Let me suggest that this is a Godly fear that is totally justified. You love talking about your faith - and that in the long run is going to be far more effective that 'bullying' people into believing.
If you look at my web site you will see that I have some unorthodox views but I think you will appreciate the link from the home page to "Follow me"
Rethinking Church led me here too. I think there's something at the essence of evangelism that the church has largely missed or underemphasized over the previous decades, leading to the caricaturization of Christians as either "zealous preachers" or else passive hypocrites. I've had experience with the zealous preaching bit, and it was like grinding gears in my soul - I just wasn't made to operate and minister this way. I've opted since for a relational approach to evangelism that's similar to what you're describing. I suppose there's got to be a time and place for zealous preaching - there must be at least something to it for it to have caught on like it did. However, I think on the whole it's a style that's time has passed and we as Christians and the church in general are searching for what evangelism really is, and what will be effective in today's society. I've started a blog to explore themes similar to this one at amalfipaper.wordpress.com. It's fairly new, but I'll be exploring this stuff there over time.
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