Broken Reflections

I've not updated this blog in a long time. Partly this has been because I've just not been sure what to say, but I think some of it is about where I've been at. I've either been majorly happy, or majorly low. Mostly the second if I'm honest. I just want to experience some kind of inbetween the two extremities for any period of time.

The last few weeks have been difficult. I'm at the lowest point I think I've ever been, and it's horrible. I don't want to be here, and neither do I feel like I have any right to be here... I'm just so low though.

One of our college modules this term was Human Personhood Through Popular Art. I didn't really engage in any of the lectures at all, however I really enjoyed the assignment. It was to create a piece of art. The picture here is a photo of what I did. I smashed a mirror and placed it on a large piece of white chipboard, over a burst a colour. It's supposed to represet Christ's death and ressurection, and the fact that whilst the image we see of ourselves is in shards, through Christ God is desperatly trying to piece us back together, trying to mould us into the beings he created, and so longs for us to be.

The red right at the centre of the cross represnts Christ's blood, and the purple around the outside, and the shape of the burst of colour represent the purple robe he was placed in and the crown of thornes placed upon his head. The humilation and he suffered is beyond human comprehension, and yet still, he went through this to re-unite us with the Father, to enable us, in all of our brokenness to come back to the foot of the cross, and bow our heads in prayer.

Nouwen writes: ‘Our life is full of brokenness---broken relationships, broken promises, broken expectations. How can we live that brokenness without becoming bitter and resentful except by returning again and again to God’s faithful presence in our lives’ (Nouwen, 1996:123). I guess often I focus on my own brokenness, the immense pain I suffer from my depression, and yet I forget I am living in a world full of brokenness, a world full of resentment, and bitterness. The only way this can possibly be overcome is by returning into the grace of the Father...