New job and other things

So I've now moved house, and changed job etc. I've got to say, for one reason or another the last couple of months have been stressful. Bobs Grandma died which was quite difficult, whilst it was expected in some ways, it's still upsetting, and there was a lot for him to sort on top of his new job which was pretty stressful for him. My nan was pretty ill. She had to have a lump removed from her gall bladder. They're pretty sure it was cancerous. She had to have some ofher liver taken away as well, just in case it had spread. We're hoping that they got it all in time, but only time will tell.

My nan's brilliant. They've been through a lot over the years. I rarely speak to them, and since it's all happened, I've really tried to make a bit more of a effort. They've caused a lot of pain and upset over the years for us all, but deep down they mean so well. I care so much for them, and it was awful when we found all this out. Was so worried.

Money was really tight for a while, Bob was out of work, and I didn't have a lot, because my student loan had kind of dwindled. It was stressful to say the least, and the pressures of having to find a deposit and first months rent for a house was difficult, but my parents and Leicester diocese were awesome, and now I'm slowly paying them back bit by bit. We struggled for a while, and basicially just brought food, and not much else, but we managed, and have been really blessed since. Bob was really fortunate to get some money from his grandma, and we've managed to put a bit of it towards a HD tv. It was our one big treat, and we felt rather guilty about such a splurge, but it's good, and we feel very blessed, and like we deserve it.

A couple of friends of ours (Bob's mainly) accused me of taking money from them a couple of months ago. That was really difficult to deal with. The one thing I hold most important to me in both my personal and professional life is integrity, and it hurts to think anyone could think I was capable of anything like that. I'm a pretty open person and wilst there's things I don't tell a lot of people, a lot of tht comes down to trust, and past experienes I've had of foolishly trusting people. Because of that though, I know how important trust is, and I just couldn't do that kind of thing. I guess the thing that upsets me the most from the whole situation is that Bob's lost friends who he'd been really close to for a long time. That pains me. And the one thing that I keep trying to get my head around is why would I risk Bob's and my friendship with them, and with myself for one moment of blind weakness? I wouldn't. Money was tight, and I can totally understand and accept why they could think it was me, but I love Bob more than anything. The relationship I have with him means the world to me, and I'd never do anything to hurt him or the friendships he has. I'd also found two people I genuinely cared for, and trusted. It upsets me, they didn't trust me as much as I initally thought.

The past few months have been so painful for Bob and I, and I keep re-living bits of it over. I guess it's easy to do. The thing we've learnt most though is what an amazing team we are. How right the relationship is. We laugh lots about how we were ever friends. It's bizarre to think of! I'm so happy he's in my life in the way he is. He's just wonderful, and is slowly helping me to believe in myself.

I'm so proud of him. He's doing amazing in his new job, and we're really building a life together up.

I guess the most important thing to us now is leaving the past behind us and moving forward together. Sometimes that's dificult, especially when things have happened which we can't change and are beyond our control. The one thing I feel sure of though, is that the place we are in now is very God given. We are both in jobs we want to be in, and I have a beautiful house, which is slowly becomming ours. We're happy together, and the future with Bob brings nothing we can't handle together and with God